Raising a child all on your own is no easy feat–especially when the challenge has been thrust onto you unexpectedly. At 50 years old, Joie Roxas has been the sole provider for her daughter, Julianne (3 AB EU), for about 11 years of her life. In that period, adapting to the sudden change was definitely not easy–as single parenthood came with its difficulties for both mother and daughter.
This was a confusing process for Julianne, especially with her father out of the picture. “I like to think that I handled [the change] rather well, but at the same time, I had so many questions and anger as a young child,” she says. “I felt that I had to mature way ahead of those of my age.”
Adjusting to the new set-up was not only tough for Julianne but for her mother as well. The duo lived in Bulacan at the time, but Joie would travel all the way to Clark for work on the weekdays.
“I had to sacrifice spending quality time with my daughter. Because of my work, I was only able to see Julianne on the weekends,” she recalls. Still, Joie likes to look at the bright side of these 11 years and considers them a challenge that she overcame. “Throughout everything, I would like to think that my relationship with my daughter has become stronger, just as it has made us both stronger individuals,” she says.
Her optimistic mindset has been the anchor in both her and Julianne’s lives. Julianne credits her mother’s strength for keeping her sane throughout the toughest of times. The bond between the mother-daughter duo is one which has also strengthened as the years went by, with Julianne seeing her mother as her best friend.
“I can’t put into words how close my mom and I are. We both read each other like the back of our hands,” she explains. Both Joie and Julianne know each other so well, openly talking about what goes on with one another’s friends and how their day went by. To show how much she appreciates her daughter, Joie always likes to kiss and hug Julianne–even if the latter gets annoyed by it most of the time.
Even with the close bond that the two share, Julianne doesn’t open up about herself as much as Joie would want to hear about. “I guess me and Ju are ‘close’ because she gets to talk about anything with me, except about herself,” Joie says dryly.
But the very reason Julianne keeps things to herself is because she’s afraid of showing her own vulnerability to someone so admirably strong: “After the toughest things she’s had to deal with, the last thing I want her to be is disappointed because her daughter’s crying over a boy, a failing mark, or insecurities that I’ve yet to deal with.” However, she has been making conscious attempts to open up to Joie.“At the end of the day, there’s no better person that deserves to know the real me than he,” she says.
The two of them manage to make the most of each other’s company–often spending quality time with one another by shopping, singing in the car, and embarking on random adventures together.
“We take a lot of pictures everywhere we go, and we love planning trips whenever we want a quick getaway or on long weekends,” shares Julianne. The two of them spent the entirety of last Christmas break in the United Arab Emirates visiting Joie’s sister. Although Joie jokes that the two of them got tired of one another, she also mentions that she still enjoyed the quality time that they shared while they were there.
Raising Julianne to become the woman she is today is something Joie prides herself in. And in the same way, Julianne mentions how she’s most proud of her mother’s spirit for powering through everything–both the highs and lows. “She’s really tough with her emotions and would much rather keep in how she feels, and I suppose it’s to not worry me too much,” Julianne explains. “I see through it though and appreciate her a lot more whenever I do.”
Reminiscing about the trials they underwent may be challenging for Joie, but she hopes that her story will show others on the same road that things will be worth it eventually. “The reality of [single parenthood] is a scary journey filled with so many challenges, and throughout all of these you’ll have to be selfless and flexible as a parent,” she says. “To sacrifice so much for your child is definitely tough, but in the end it really pays off.” And from this, it’s clear Joie and Julianne’s bond is the gift that keeps on giving.
Photos by Ralph Lim and Gabriel Medina
Graphics by Andrea Granda
