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Von Carolino (3 AB COM) dazzles with their presence, even through video call. Coming into the interview in a neon green windbreaker and a full-face glam makeup look, Von takes their tagline “Your cool, hot, queer phenomenon!” to heart as they divulge insights and experiences as a student and as an OrSem host.
VANT: Hey Von! How are you?
VON: Honestly, feel ko makikipag-chikahan lang talaga tayo. It’s my first time being an O-Host—first time being part of OrSem at all. It’s a culture shock in itself to get into OrSem, and then it’s another thing entirely to cope with an online OrSem. The one thing that always makes me so scared nowadays is how to keep the freshies’ attention. [In] every line I have to deliver, there has to be some sort of punchline or kailangang merong catch.
VANT: Aside from OrSem, what have you been up to during this quarantine?
VON: Fun fact: I’m a very, very, very different person outside of my hosting persona. I am a full blown ambivert; I can turn my sociability on and off. It’s a switch na talagang pag kailangan ko, 100% magsasalita ako pero right after this interview I will go to my room, I will hide from the world, and I will watch anime!
Interestingly, quarantine for me has been a reflective experience. I kind of look back more on the things I used to do, the things that remind me of my youth, kasi now that I’m in college talagang medyo slave to my work talaga ako. I’m a theater kid so I sometimes leave Katipunan at 3:00 AM and since I come from Marikina, [there’s a lot of] traffic. I’d wake up at 5:00 in the morning because nakikisabay lang ako sa parents ko going to school. So [quarantine] has been more of a rediscovery of past things I used to love.
VANT: You mentioned you’re a theater person. What organizations are you a part of in Ateneo?
VON: It’s a really funny story. I was actually more inclined to [join] Tanghalang Ateneo (TA) or ENTAblado (ENTA) because I had friends who were part of ENTA and TA. So I told myself, “Why not?” In high school, I used to be a debater and a student council person. I really wanted to explore new things in college, one of which was theater. I was part of blueREP (Ateneo Blue Repertory) CORE last year. I was [Assistant Vice President] for Human Resources, and then every so often applying for leadership roles in productions.
VANT: Aside from orgs, how has your Ateneo experience been? How has being in Ateneo changed you, challenged you, or helped you grow?
VON: It might be interesting to the freshies, pero getting into Ateneo, I expected all the generic stereotypes. Parang “Hey, college parties! We’re gonna be able to go out of campus! Eat out during our lunch breaks!” or something. For the most part, it’s been the complete [contrast] for me. I keep thinking I have to find myself, I have to prepare for my career, which more often than not… is not the best mindset to have, because there are a lot of times that I don’t live in the moment.
Hosting is a way for me to get out of that. Even if you have your script, and you can prepare in advance, the most important part talaga is when you’re with the audience. You have to listen to them. Kahit hindi sila magsasalita, kailangang makiparamdaman ‘yung vibe nila, tapos you have to be there. So my Ateneo experience has been a lot of unexpected things. Sobrang dalang-dala talaga ako.
VANT: You mentioned that hosting helps you live in the moment and is also an elevated part of yourself, but how was your own OrSem experience?
VON: Overwhelming! Ang lakas ng music, tapos there were people dancing, and people were too happy, and there were thousands of people looking at you–which for any introverted person is the worst. The worst! Parang, “Ugh, stop looking at me!”
I must say—[jokingly] not to flatter them—because I’d hate to flatter Niño Moreno and Bea Arboleda!—honestly, ‘yung stage ‘yung naging excuse ko to not talk to anybody. “Okay, I will ignore everybody, titingin nalang ako doon. Ay, sorry, busy ako ah! May tinitingnan ako.” Talagang yung stage yung naging avenue ko to tune out everything and just focus on something.
I didn’t want to be at OrSem. Hindi ako cool kid eh! Unang-una, bading ako, so natural sa akin ang social exclusion. [laughs] Pangalawa, I’m an ambivert nga, so I run out of social battery at one point. After that morning na parang “Hey nakiki-vibe pa ako, alright,” pagdating nang noon… Sis, wala na! Ubos na!
VANT: Since overwhelming yung OrSem experience mo, what made you apply to be an O-Host?
VON: A core part of the O-Hosting experience—and actually OrSem in general—is that it’s a really keen sense of diversity. You see a part of yourself in everybody. You have the legendary all-around Rafa Chua, and then last year you had Lorenzo Tan repping for the people out there na mas indie, into films, yung mga ganung type. […] This one’s a bit of like, a more serious part of the discussion, I guess? Na parang, there has always been LGBT representation in O-Hosting. [Previous LGBT O-Hosts] are the reasons I could be an O-Host now. Talagang sila yung…
VANT: They make you feel welcomed and comfortable.
VON: Yeah, and that’s really good. But there’s much to say about events’ strides in representation. […] Out of the [previous] line-up of O-Hosts, you had the legendary Gigi Esguerra repping for the trans women, and then the legendary Hans Braga repping for the [masculine] gays, and you have the legendary Emerson Enriquez promoting body positivity! But among all of them, none of which thus far—although I don’t think this is bragging, I think it’s sad—I think I’m the first genderfluid person with the title.
Short hair with makeup, lalaki-babae, he/she/they [pronouns]…parang I don’t get to see that [often]. Even within the LGBT community, there are minorities [within] that minority. Gigi did her own thing, Hans did his own thing, Em did his own thing, and I kind of wanted to add more to that narrative of what being LGBT is like on such a big platform. I’m not fond, though, of how sine-celebritize yung mga O-Hosts.
VANT: Oh, really? Could you expound on that?
VON: We literally walk the same halls as you, the only difference is that we happen to be part of this event. Even in OrSem, we’re not the stars. It’s the freshies! It really is the freshies. It’s not me, it’s the person who I’m introducing, and that’s really what hosting is. I’m really really thankful, but I don’t think I’m any more important than the other OrSem volunteers.
As much as my character is very loud, flamboyant, and everything… going back to your question of why I applied as O-Host, it’s really to add to a larger LGBT narrative. […] But OrSem, at the end of the day, is for the freshies. Like, 8-hour filming period? For the freshies. I am wearing a jacket right now and we’re in the Philippines, no air conditioner, and I’m sweating like a pig? For the freshies. [laughs] It’s so unglamorous. It’s not pretty to be a host. For the freshies lahat talaga, swear.
VANT: Actually, this leads into my next question pretty well. How has it been, adjusting or preparing for OrSem at home?
VON: Hosting in general is pretty difficult already because you put yourself under the scrutiny of so many people. It takes a lot, because you guys are literally penetrating my personal space. At home, it’s where I get to be vulnerable, it’s where I get to be well-rested, it’s where I get to just look stupid and not care. […] To a certain extent there are points in the process where I kind of felt ashamed? Parang, ‘eto ang ipapakita natin? Having the process at home really forced me to come to terms with accepting the parts of myself that I don’t normally show to other people.
VANT: We talked about your home, but what are some memorable experiences you’ve had on campus? What makes you love the Ateneo campus?
VON: My favorite part about Ateneo is being on campus late night! There’s a lot of opportunity for eerie thoughts to come in because of the campus. There are trees, there are dark buildings, the old communications building… but if you get past all that, it’s strangely blissful. There’s so much nature. Anywhere on campus past 8:00 PM—oh my gosh! Talagang mapapa-reflection moment ka habang naglalakad ka. Kunyare, kakagaling mo lang nang class, tapos sabihin mo “Ay…parang pinag-iisipan ko yung buhay ko ngayon.” It really brings up a different [headspace]. Especially if you’re there with a friend, mapapa-heart to heart [talk] kayo na walang prompt.
VANT: So you’d say Ateneo’s environment can make you feel pretty vulnerable sometimes, ‘no?
VON: That’s true. I can’t wait for the freshies to understand it.
VANT: Is there any message or college advice you’d like to give to the freshmen of OrSem Tuloy?
VON: Be kinder to yourselves. Especially since you’re getting into Ateneo kasi—let’s be real, we can’t really ignore the fact that Ateneo is Ateneo. It’s elite, it’s privileged, it’s [on] top of the academic tier, the economic tier. It’s a pivotal place of power, and it’s so easy to get drawn into how fast everything comes and goes. ‘Di ka sanay sa classes and sa orgs, but you get used to it. That’s the grind, and sometimes it’s easy to forget to eat, to give yourself credit, or to give other people credit. I am a victim to that. I’m not saying I’m the perfect person because a lot of the time, I catch myself saying bad things to other people in my head and then I look back and I’m like, “Why am I so harsh?”
It’s so easy to get carried away with magis and how you live it out. If ever you think of it as “more, more, more,” it hurts you just as much as it benefits you. We can always strive for excellence and do more while being more compassionate and kinder to ourselves. I wish there was somebody [who had told me this], or I wish I could’ve actively told myself this ever since I was a freshie. Maraming oras na hindi ako naging mabait sa ibang tao tsaka sa sarili ko, just because I got so carried away. It’s so strange to me that it took me three years to realize that I should slow things down. Life is not a race, you could do things and at the same time not miss meals.
VANT: It’s hard, self maintenance in the midst of it all.
VON: Agreed. So, freshies, ako na yung unang magsasabi: Just be nice to yourselves. Deserve niyo yun. Congratulations for getting into Ateneo, and now just be nice to yourselves especially during this time.
