Hype
You have no idea how many times I had to start this over. You have no idea how long it took me to sit down and actually write this.
The idea of writing a piece of my own and sharing it with the world overwhelms me, because I don’t think I’m qualified to do so. Ironic as it is, I’m an aspiring writer with a long-standing war with writing. Let me introduce you to my crippling imposter syndrome.
Throughout my time in college, the syndrome has been a chip on my shoulder—it still is. Like many self-esteem issues, I don’t think it’s a problem that just goes away.
I have met so many people who are experts in their craft, who have invested years in their work and are absolutely sure of who they want to be. Though these people inspire me, they’ve also led me to feel some lack in qualification. I felt like I was behind the curve because I didn’t spend the same amount of time practicing or writing or creating. I don’t blame those people. It’s a me thing.
At this point, if you still have no idea what I’m talking about, imposter syndrome is the irrational fear of being exposed as a fraud. It’s a paralyzing feeling of apprehension because you anticipate that one day, someone might just call you out and say, “You don’t even know what you’re doing!” or “You just got lucky!” You’ve convinced yourself that they may be right.
Social media, I find, plays a hand in this mentality. Seeing people succeed, live lavishly, and romanticize struggles are key actors in this whole thing. Again, I’m not here to blame anyone; imposter syndrome, at the end of the day, is an internalized battle.
You see, I’ve felt this way towards a handful of my achievements and opportunities. I had always believed that luck played a big role in everything, convincing me that I don’t ever 100% know what I’m doing. Then again, does anyone?
With this in mind, I’ve read a handful of articles and self-help books in an attempt to deal with it. None of them really gave me answers on how to escape imposter syndrome, but I did come to a few realizations. Here are my two cents:
Firstly, qualifications and credentials do not always guarantee success. You can study for months and fail an exam. You can be a lawyer and still lose a case. You can be a doctor and lose a patient. Everything is unpredictable. So the question at hand is not if you’re qualified to do something, but rather, if you took the risk and did it anyway.
Secondly, we live in a world where staying connected is not always a good thing. Social media has created an illusion of perfection, often leaving us feeling defenseless. As difficult as it may seem, steering clear from channels of comparison can spare us from competing with the world’s constant highlight reel. As the saying goes: Comparing yourself to others is the ultimate thief of joy.
Lastly, letting go of the need to prove myself is liberating. Imposter syndrome stems from the fear of being exposed, but why fear exposure in the first place? Simply doing what makes me happy, whether I’ve just started out or I’ve mastered it for years, should have nothing to do with what other people think. We walk at our own pace, we succeed in our own time, and we fail when something is simply not meant for us. To each their own.
I’m not free from imposter syndrome. I haven’t cracked the code of ridding myself from it, but I do know that each day is a chance to challenge it.I may feel like a fraud writing this, but hey, at least I wrote something. That’s a start.
Exposé